What's the weirdest thing anyone's ever told you?

I'm one of those people that others like to open up to for some reason. I'm not sure why because I'm not particularly friendly or engaging in conversation. But when I'm pregnant it's worse - it's like the second my cervix closes, the floodgates open and all these loonies come rushing out at me.

Yesterday my neighbor told me a story about being pregnant with her third, and she developed a UTI toward the end and thought it was contractions. She made her Dad go to the hospital with her, thinking THIS WAS IT, and she didn't want to be alone. So she's there, and the doctor says they're gonna have to do an internal exam, and asks Dad if he'd like to leave the room. My neighbor goes all WTF on the doctor and says "WHY THE F*CK DOES HE NEED TO LEAVE?", and the doctor explains most men are usually not comfortable being in the room with that, and most women are not comfortable having men sitting around watching that (uh, especially men that are their dad). So Neighbor Lady is like "He ain't goin nowhere. This ain't the first time he's seen this [p-word] and it ain't the last time he'll see this [p-word], so he's stayin right there and you can get over it."

Wowza. By the multiple uses of the P-word, I'm sure you can tell "what type" she is, so I probably would have heard this story eventually, pregnant or not. But this is after, like, 4 brief conversations with the lady that she opened up. Actually, I guess I should be more shocked it took that long.

Anyhow, my question for her (that I didn't actually ask because I really, REALLY didn't want an answer) - I get that your dad saw your P-word before, 20some years ago when he was changing your diapers, but when is he going to see it again?! What reason does a middle-aged woman have to show her Dad her crotchola? Maybe she's taking him to all her yearly pap smears from now on for moral support. And then maybe to her yearly mammograms when she hits 50! What a Dad.

Joe was in the room with me when I got my first ultrasound with Violet. They whipped out this foot-long wand and put a giant condom on it and some lube over that, and Joe turns white and says "Is that going in you?" hahaha. I think the next time he actually looked at my crotch was 8 months later when Violet was born, at which time he turned white again and almost fell over. I'm still not sure how I was able to convince him to make another baby after that.

So, I guess the point of all that is, it's ok to overshare your crotch with your husband, because he's stuck with it whether he likes it or not. But leave your poor ol Dad out of it, and your neighbor too.