Pregnant again!

Last time I found out I was pregnant, I was about 7 weeks along, and I read that my growing fetus was the size of a blueberry. That's how she ended up getting her name! I joked with a friend we should name her Violet, like in that scene in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, where that bratty little beeotch chewed the gum and turned into a Maury-Povich-toddler-sized blueberry. (Haha, remember when he used to bring on those 70 pounds 2 year olds? It was sad really, I shouldn't laugh.)

Well this time I found out I was pregnant earlier, a little before 5 weeks. At that point I had an orange seed in me! (Sidenote: When my sister was young, she stuck a bunch of orange seeds up her nose. Nothing like huffing some 5 week old fetuses huh?) So I kinda can't "keep tradition" and name this baby something related to its size upon discovery, not if it pops out a boy anyway (which I am really hoping and believing already). Otherwise he's going to get beat up in school for being the sissy kid named Clementine.

Why do they have to use all produce to relate fetus size anyway? Here's some other fun theme ideas:

Alcoholic drinks: Sure, mom's not doing any drinking. But this growing baby is most likely making her act like a drunk anyway: barfing, off balance, sometimes weepy, sometimes belligerent, huge belly.
5 weeks: Your baby is the size of a hole in your mixed drink strainer!
10 weeks: Your baby is the size of a shot of tequila! Next week it will be the size of the lime!
20 weeks: Hooray! You have a pint!
Full term: Congratulations on your handle of vodka!

Ice Cream Toppings: Mom's probably eating tons of ice cream anyway so she's pretty familiar with these sizes!
4 weeks: It's a jimmy!
8 weeks: Crushed snickers bars!
12 weeks: A single scoop!
Full term: The kind of ice cream sundae you get your picture on a wall for eating!

Computer Parts: For the nerds.
5 weeks: Congratulations, you constructed your first USB port.
8 weeks: Wow, you made a chip!
14 weeks: Holy smokes, it's a mouse!
Full term: Is that a bubble jet printer in your uterus or are you just happy to see me?

I dunno, I just think there's plenty of other fun things to compare babies to than FRUIT and VEGETABLES. About 6 months after that baby is born, mom's going to be so obsessed with fruits and vegetables mashed up and going into her cute little bulk bag of potatoes, why can't she think about junky food while she's able. Screw sweet peas, I'm currently housing a dinner mint (one of the creamy kind, mmmm).